I wish...

I had a bad day at work today but just when i think that everything is falling apart P comes to brighten up my day! He has all the energy of the world! He was born this way and i always thought that he got frustrated because of all the inner energy levels. Now that he is getting bigger and stronger he can do things to release his energy! He can reach for objects and people, show me what he wants, turn from his back to his tummy and the other way around, sit, stand, shout, play. From the moment he opens his eyes in the morning he is loud! I don't know if all the babies are like that, i don't have friends with babies and i never payed attention to babies before i had my own but the truth is that the image i had in my head about babies is far away from reality. Its so much harder but so much better the same time. It takes over your life, you lose yourself and your free time as they used to tell me but i didnt listen! But...! It is M.A.G.I.C.A.L. The moment i lay next to him while he is sleeping i forget everything! All my worries fly away.... and i enter my mystical world...lying next to him, watch him breath so peacefully, amazed with how this little person gave meaning to my life in only 8 months, something i was looking for for 30 years. The only dark cloud over my head is that im not a stay at home mum and P spends most of his day away from me. I have to work for many reasons but my WISH is to stop working and stay at home to raise my baby. For the moment i enjoy the weekends!
This post came out in english:)
x x x